Finally, the guys side of the story. We always

hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!

*Please note ... these are all numbered "1"  ON PURPOSE!

1.    Sunday = Sports.  It's like the full moon

or the changing of the tides.  Let it be.

1.    Shopping is NOT a sport.  And no, we are

never going to think of it that way.

1.    Crying is blackmail.

1.    Ask for what you want.  Let us be clear on

this one: Subtle hints do not work!  Strong

hints do not work!   Obvious hints do not work!

Just say it!

1.    Yes and No are perfectly acceptable

answers to almost every question.

1.    Come to us with a problem only if you want

help solving it.  That's what we do.  Sympathy

is what your girlfriends are for.

1.    A headache that lasts for 17 months is a

problem.  See a doctor.

1.    Anything we said 6 months ago is

inadmissible in an argument.   In fact, all

comments become null and void after 7 days.

1.    If you won't dress like the Victoria's

Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap

opera guys.

1.    If you think you're fat, you probably are.

Don't ask us.

1.    If something we said can be interpreted

two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or

angry, we meant the other one.

1.    You can either ask us to do something or

tell us how you want it done. Not both.   If you

already know best how to do it, just do it

yourself.

1.    Whenever possible, please say whatever you

have to say during commercials.

1.    Christopher Columbus did not need

directions and neither do we.

1.    ALL men see in only 16 colors, like

Windows default settings.   Peach, for example,

is a fruit, not a color.   Pumpkin is also a

fruit.  We have no idea what mauve is.

1.    If it itches, it will be scratched.

1.    If we ask what is wrong and you say

"nothing," we will act like nothing's wrong.

We know you are lying, but it is just not worth

the hassle.

1.    If you ask a question you don't want us to

answer, expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1.    When we have to go somewhere, absolutely

anything you wear is fine...  Really.

1.    Don't ask us what we're thinking about

unless you are prepared to discuss such topics

as baseball, the shotgun formation, or monster

trucks.

1.    You have enough clothes.

1.    You have too many shoes.

1.    I am in shape.  Round is a shape.

1.    Thank you for reading this:  Yes, I know,

I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did

you know men really don't mind that, it's like camping